The end or the beginning?

Cancer sucks. 

There really is not a more eloquent way of saying it. No matter who you are, when someone you love gets that dreaded diagnosis, the feelings that follow are pain, anger and fear. I watched as a beautiful and godly woman was ravaged by cancer. The cancer took her strength, her mobility, and ultimately her life last Wednesday night, but it could not take her joy, her love for her family and her great love for her Savior. 

Death is scary. As humans, we have a fear of the unknown, and to be honest, death is the greatest unknown. There are so many theories about what happens to us when we die. Some people believe that we just end - we fade into nothingness just as we were before we were born. Some people we will be reborn onto this earth as someone - or something - different. And there are those of us who believe that there is life after death - just not life on earth. 

I fall into the last category. With all of my heart, I believe in a Heaven and a hell. I believe there is an all Supreme God who created everything. I believe He is manifested in three persons - God the Father, God the Son (Jesus), and God the Holy Spirit. I believe He sent His Son - Jesus Christ - to live on this earth for 33 years - fully God yet fully man. I believe Jesus felt the same pressures and temptations we feel. I believe that at the end of His ministry, He was crucified by the same people He came to save. I believe He died a real death and was buried in a real tomb. I believe that after three days, His disciples found His tomb empty because He had risen again. And I believe that someday - we do not know when but someday - He will return for us. 

Death doesn't have to be scary. For my dear friend who succumbed to cancer, death was not scary. She knew exactly where she would be going when she breathed her last. In the blink of an eye, her earthly heart stopped and in that same moment, she took the hand of her Savior. In that moment, she left the cancer and pain behind. In that moment, she entered the presence of God. She was embraced by the One who loves her much more than any of us ever could. 

I'm not going to lie. It was really hard to watch her suffer. I prayed every day that God would heal her. It did hurt to find out that God did not answer my prayers the way I had so wanted. But to question God's will is to question something I cannot understand. There are simply some things that are unknowable. The mind of God is one of them. There are many things I do not understand - why do people suffer? Why do children starve? Why do mothers and fathers lose their children to cancer? Why do some people live and some people die? Maybe someday I will get the answers to these questions. But for now, it is for me to trust and trust alone. 

Trusting is not easy. I spend every day fighting voices of doubt in my head. But deep down inside my very being, I know the truth. I know that God is who He says He is. I sometimes can't explain that feeling. I just feel it with the utmost surety. That feeling drives me on. That belief is what keeps me going. That is how I fight the doubt. 

There are many things in life that frighten people, but death doesn't have to be one of them. To know and love Christ, to accept that you are fallen and flawed and to put your entire life into the hands of God is to banish death and the fear it causes. The following verses from 1 Corinthians 15:54b-55 sum up the reality of death for Christians:
"Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?"

Jesus crushed the power of death the moment He drew His last breath on that wretched cross. He tore the veil that separated us from the Father. Suddenly, in that moment, we were able to go straight to God without needing a sacrifice or a priest. That was the moment that connected us to God and gave us the right to enter Heaven as heirs. 

Unfortunately, this promise is not for all. To enter Heaven and spend eternity with God is a free gift for everyone - yet many people will not accept due to doubt, fear, or outright disbelief. I will come right out and say that hell is a very real place. It's not the party that some believe it will be. It is immense and unspeakable pain and torture for eternity. But you do not have to go there. 

Most people will call me a fool and say that what I speak and believe is nonsense. Okay. Suit yourself. But you owe it to yourself to truly understand and figure out why you do not believe. If I am wrong, nothing comes of it. If, when we die, we simply become nothing, then my life believing in God is nothing as well. There are no consequences. But if I am right, then everything changes. If I am right and Heaven and hell are real places, then there will be a lot of people who will regret their choices during life. It kills me to know that some people will spend eternity in misery simply because they didn't want to believe. 

For my friend, death was not the end. Death was the beginning of a brand new adventure. Death brought her more peace, joy and happiness than this life ever did. And I relish in the thought that I will see her again. I will see both of my grandpas again. I will see every single believe that has gone on before me. And forever we will worship the King who created us all. I can think of no better way to spend forever. 

Pushing back the dark

We are at war. No, I'm not taking about any physical war, though there are those being waged in the world. I am referring to a great spiritual battle in which we are presently engaged. We are fighting psychological battles - battles of the mind - and our opponent is lethal. More and more, I hear of Christians struggling with some major issues. Depression, anxiety, suicide, self-harm, divorce, abortion, guilt, shame... the list goes on. These are obviously not of the Father, so why then, as children of God, do we so often struggle with these problems? We are meant to be the light of the world, but it is very hard to be the light when we feel surrounded by darkness. 

For some Christians, the sin of the world can be overwhelming. We start to wonder why we even bother. What's the point? Why should we keep fighting when it seems that the enemy is only getting stronger? I'm going to be honest, it's exhausting. My own personal struggle with anxiety is a daily battle. One in which I have to take control of my mind every morning and remind myself that God is in control and I am not. 

Christians are overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of passion and joy, we feel downtrodden and discouraged. We are failing at our relationships, our jobs, our home lives, at school, with friends, etc. Doubt and fear creep in. Satan, the destroyer, waits in the shadows for these moments of vulnerability and when we show the smallest ounce of weakness, he attacks with a vengeance. 

Is there no hope? Where is our Savior? Why hasn't Christ come riding in on the white horse to save us from this fallen world? Why does God feel so far away? Why do we so often feel our prayers fall on deafened ears? Why are we not getting answers to our desperate pleas for help?

I truly believe that one of our biggest problems is that we have put God into a box. We have made God small. We have tried to hard to understand His vastness that we have, in a   sense, dumbed Him down. We see God with our human scales over our eyes. We speak of God in human terms. 

I cannot comprehend God. I do not know why there is suffering in the world. I do not understand why I deal with so much anxiety every day. I can't tell you why a five-year-old boy gets brain cancer and dies. I have no answers as to why people murder or steal or destroy. I do not understand how one man can look another man in the eye and pull the trigger that ends his life. This all cannot be part of God's plan, right? After all, a loving God would never allow one of His children to get sick with Ebola in a country where He called that person to serve. That just is not fair. 

This world is dark. The future looks bleak. Often, there is little cause for hope. But regardless of how we view the world, we must still remember that we carry within us the Light of Christ. We need to stop focusing so much on the darkness and the sense of purposelessness. With every small act of good, we push back the dark. With every kind deed, we push back the dark. Whenever we help someone up, we push back the dark. Every step forward, no matter how small, is pushing back the darkness. 

There is a quote in one of my all-time favorite movie series, The Lord of the Rings. In the second movie of the trilogy, The Two Towers, Sam and Frodo are immersed in a terribly bleak situation. There is so much evil surrounding them, and Frodo begins to lose hope. He forgets why he even accepted the quest in the first place. This clip, when taken out of the secular context and put into the Christian context, is exceptionally powerful. 

There is good still in this world. There is still hope and love and joy and happiness. There are still selfless people willing to give of themselves for others. There is still so much that is worth fighting for. The darkness cannot linger forever. Darkness is not eternal. Light is eternal. Love wins, and one day, hate will be destroyed forever. Depression will be destroyed forever. Anxiety and fear will be destroyed forever. They cannot linger because they are of the devil, and he is not eternal. He can and will be destroyed. 

Don't ever give up. Even when your circumstances are overwhelming. Even when you feel so hopeless you almost can't breathe, do not give up. The pain and suffering cannot last forever. If by one deed you can make the world a better place, by all means do the deed. If you can somehow in some way make someone a better person, no matter how hard it may be, help that person. 

This is the only way we can find true fulfillment. By overlooking your circumstances and continuing to fight the good fight, you are bringing glory to God and death to evil. When you feel too tired and too overwhelmed to carry on, rest in His Spirit. Refresh your mind. You are not alone in this fight! We have the all powerful God on our side. He has not abandoned us to a futile war. He is before, behind and beside us every step of the way. Even when He feels so far away, keep fighting. Keep pushing back the dark. Don't lose heart and don't lose hope. Keep searching for Him. Keep praying to Him. Keep loving Him. 

We cannot win this fight alone. The fight may not even be won in our lifetime, but it will be won. God wins. If we live in God, we will win. So put one foot in front of the other. When you feel yourself surrounded by darkness, let the light of Christ that dwells in you shine all the stronger. You can make it through, and you WILL make it through. Little by little, keep pushing back the dark. 

Forgiveness

I recently watched a video about two men. Two different people who were brought together through horrible circumstances. Before their meeting, the older of the two was a youth pastor with a wife, a daughter and another child on the way. He had a great family, a good church and was enjoying the blessings of God. The younger man was a fireman whose life changed drastically one day. 

Matthew - the younger man - was driving home from a very long shift. He had not slept in a long time, and he was exhausted. He didn't even realize that he had fallen asleep and that his car had veered into the opposite lane. He didn't see the oncoming car. That impact changed his life, but it also changed the life of the youth pastor, Erik. 

Erik's wife and daughter were in that car. The accident took her life and the life of their unborn child. Their daughter, who was in the backseat, survived with only minor scrapes and bruises. Erik's "perfect" life had turned upside down in a matter of seconds. 

In the weeks following the accident, Erik had a choice to make. He could either press charges for the maximum penalty, which ultimately could send Matthew to jail and destroy his chances of ever being a firefighter again. Or he could opt for a lesser penalty, which would result in something like a fine and community service. 

Unlike what many other people would do, Erik chose the lesser penalty. His only thought was how to bring the glory to God. He had no desire for revenge or retribution. He didn't want to destroy Matthew's life and career. Instead, he chose to let God work through him in order to forge a relationship with this man who ultimately was the cause of his wife's death. In other words, Erik chose to forgive Matthew. 

These two guys tell their story much better than I ever could, and I encourage you to watch it for yourself: 

After watching the video and listening to the story, I tried to put myself in Erik's shoes. Would I be able to forgive someone who had caused me so much pain? Could I go even further and strike up a friendship with this person and begin investing in their life? Those are some tough, tough questions that I have never had to answer, and I pray that I never will have to answer them. But they are good to think about. In times of intense physical or emotional pain, how do we give glory to God? 

Erik goes on to say that there is a bigger picture. "[God] paints on a canvas the size of the universe." We don't see what is going on behind the scenes. We can only see a tiny piece of the bigger picture. When we suffer, we often tend to strike out at God and ask, "Why are you doing this to me? Why am I being punished?" The last thing we want to do is forgive. 

I have heard people say that it is easier to forgive someone who has done something wrong against you by accident. However, imagine that someone has purposefully hurt you. How easy is it to forgive in that situation? 

When looking for an example, there is no greater example than Jesus Christ. He is the ultimate display for forgiveness. Here He was, a completely pure, innocent man who was doing so much good in this world - healing the sick, the lame, the blind, raising people from the dead, teaching about His love. He had done nothing to hurt us. Yet how much we hurt Him! 

We beat Him to beyond human recognition. We pulled out His hair. We spit on Him. We drove thorns into His head. We nailed Him to a cross, and we left Him to die. Like a criminal. Like the lowest of lows. Isaiah 53:7 says, "He was oppressed, and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so He opened not His mouth." He did not speak out against us. He didn't try to argue His case before a judge. He willingly let Himself die for something He knew He hadn't done.

You might be saying, "Well, I wasn't there. I didn't nail Him to the cross. I wouldn't have done that." But haven't you done that already? Isn't ever sin you commit another thorn in His head? Another nail in His hand? Another lash on His back? Every single time we act out in defiance against our Creator, we are adding to His suffering. It's like we are looking Him in the face and saying, "I know you died for me, but I don't care." Ouch. 

Yet even after all of the pain we inflicted upon Him, listen to what He says. Luke 23:34a - "And Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." We did this to Him on purpose with malicious intent, and yet He willingly chose to forgive us. He saw the bigger picture. 

If Jesus Christ can forgive us each and every day for the wrongs we do against Him, how much more should we forgive each other for the wrongs done against us? In fact, compared to what Jesus went through, it should be easy for us to forgive. How often we hold grudges, though, and refuse to let go of our hurt, our anger, and our sense of injustice. 

When we refuse to forgive, it is like having a huge burden on our backs. We carry it around and let it weigh us down. We get tired and the hurt grows, but we refuse to let go of that silly burden. Once we make the choice of forgiveness, though, the burden is gone, and we are free again. 

If there is anything today that you are holding inside against someone, I encourage you to go to them and forgive them, face-to-face. It is one thing to forgive someone in front of God, but it is another thing to go to them and let them know they have been forgiven. Sometimes, often times, it is not easy. They may not know that they have caused you pain. It may be embarrassing or seem foolish, but it is necessary. 

I leave you with these lyrics from Tenth Avenue North's song Losing:
"We think pain is owed apologies, and then it'll stop. 

But truth be told, it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not.

Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound,

Of mercy and Your grace, Father, send Your angels down."

"Father, give me grace to forgive them, 'cause I feel like the one losing." 

My thorn

Anxiety. This is a word that gets tossed around every day, and most people don't think much of it. The Merriam-Webster online dictionary gives this definition for anxiety: "Fear or nervousness about what might happen." I'm sure most people at some point in their lives have experienced some form of anxiety. However, if you are someone like me, anxiety becomes so much more than just nervousness. It becomes a constant battle with your thoughts. It translates into physical symptoms. It is controlling, and it is exhausting. 

I have always lived with a decent level of stress in my life. Being a perfectionist, there was always that drive in me to do better. I was never content with a bad grade, and often those bad grades would cripple me. I would worry for sometimes weeks in advance for something that I was nervous about. But this semester at college, my anxiety has taken a whole new level. I began to feel mysterious symptoms. My heart would pound so hard at night that I couldn't get to sleep. I would feel this gut-wrenching, sick feeling in my stomach wash over me constantly at night, and even sometimes during classes. I would feel weak, shaky and not well at all. There were a couple of times when I was truly convinced that I was having a heart attack. I often felt as if I couldn't take deep breaths and that I wasn't going to get enough air in. All of these physical symptoms, resulting from anxiety, only contributed to making the anxiety worse. At some points, I seriously felt like I was dying (this sounds extreme, but if you suffer from anxiety disorder, you understand). 

It's hard for me to say just what was causing my anxiety. Yes, this is my senior year of college, and I am under a lot of stress to do well in classes and figure out what I am going to be doing after college. I have my big senior project that I have been working on - which includes writing a 8-12 page math paper and giving a 25 minute presentation on the paper. On top of this, I have senioritis really badly. I am so ready to just be done with school. 

But in all honesty, I still have no idea why this is coming now. As I said before, I have faced stress throughout the previous three years of college. I have never felt these things before. I can't even begin to tell you how frustrating all of this was for me. I spent so many sleepless nights just crying out to God to take these horrible feelings away. I tried everything - sleeping pills, listening to relaxing music, praying - but nothing seemed to work. I went to the doctor only to have them tell me it was from anxiety. And short of medication, there is nothing they can do for anxiety. I refuse to take anxiety medicine. I would rather just deal with my problems than to risk forming a drug habit. 

Why am I sharing all of this? Because throughout this whole process, which has gotten better but still hasn't completely gone away, I have been reminded of Paul in 2 Corinthians 12. In this chapter, Paul is talking about the thorn in his flesh. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that what I suffer from is anything like what Paul suffered from, but I do make some connections. Paul was given a thorn in his flesh. He says at the end of verse 7 that this was "a messenger of Satan to torment me." Three times Paul begged God to take this thorn away... but then we come to one of my favorite verses in the Bible - verse 9: "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 
Paul continues by saying that because of this, he will proclaim his weaknesses even more so that others can look at him and see Christ's power working in his life. What a testimony! 

Sometimes it is hard for me to talk about what is going on with me. I hate looking and feeling weak. I don't want people to see me as weak. It's always been hard for me to admit weakness. But Paul is saying here in verse 9 that he is going to boast all the more gladly about his weaknesses. He will proclaim them to anyone and show everyone his struggles. The end of verse 10 says, "For when I am weak, then I am strong."

We are not perfect. We all suffer from something. Some people are very open about their weaknesses, and others - like me - try to keep them hidden away. But we don't have to be afraid of coming across as weak. In fact, God wants us to share our weaknesses. It is through this that His power is manifested. Others can look at our lives and see God working through us. When we are at our weakest, God is at His strongest. If none of us had weaknesses, we wouldn't be able to see our need for Christ. 

There were times over the past month that I felt God was so far away. It's sometimes hard for Christians to admit this. We feel that we should always be experiencing God to the fullest. It's hard to admit that we are struggling with something. But listen, God does not condemn us for our struggles. He doesn't condemn me for feeling isolated from Him. Throughout the whole experience, I know that God was always with me, even when I couldn't feel Him. He has always been there, helping me through it, and He is never going to leave. Looking back now, I see that my trust in Him has only grown as a result. I have become so much more dependent on His strength. Each day, I recognize my weakness and fully rely on Him to get me through the struggles of the day. 

No matter what you are going through today, no matter how far away God feels, no matter where you are in your walk with Him, always remember that He is always right there. It's hard to see when you are in the midst of pain, but looking back, you will be able to recognize the hand of God. Keep your head up, and fight through it. The pain doesn't last forever. Someday you will be able to laugh at your struggles. As a result, you can come out stronger and happier. Your struggles can become a way to share your faith with someone else going through difficulties. Most of all, don't ever be afraid to share your weaknesses with others. It definitely helps to have someone who will listen and give advice. Always remember that God is there to talk to as well. Even when He seems far away, keep talking. He never leaves you alone. 

Beauty in God's Eyes

Beauty. This is a concept that I have wrestled with over the years. I'm sure just about every girl out there can relate. At one time or another, we have all asked the question, What does it mean to be beautiful? Take one look at our culture and you will find that we have been looking for beauty in all the wrong places. Girls, especially, have become so obsessed with beauty that many have died in pursuit of it. Sweet, precious girls who starve themselves to death just because they want to be beautiful. Daughters and sisters and best friends who constantly compare themselves to others, only to find that there is always someone more "beautiful," at least in their eyes. This breaks my heart. 

I, too, have struggled with all of the above. I compare myself to others, and I constantly find myself to be inadequate. I have struggled with insecurity. I have found myself obsessed with how I look on the outside. After all, like every other girl out there, I desire to be beautiful. To have others find me beautiful. But I have been looking in the wrong place for beauty. True beauty is not found on the outside. 

Proverbs 31:10-31 tells the story of a wife of noble character. Verse 10 says, "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." I know that this passage talks about a wife, but girls, we can get so much from this. Verse 10 sets the tone for the rest of the chapter. This woman, this wife, is precious. She is worth far more than rubies. What is is about her that makes her so valuable? It's her character. Her confidence. Her innocence and morality. Her gentleness and patience. Her love and respect. Her character. 

This woman is strong. She runs her household well and takes care of her family. She buys and runs a vineyard. She is successful at what she does. Verse 20 says that she takes care of those who are poor and helps those who are in need. She has a heart for those who are less fortunate than herself. She doesn't set herself on a pedestal. She humbles herself and doesn't consider hard work beneath her. I love verse 25, "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." She doesn't worry about the future. Her mind is fixed on the present and how she can make a difference right then. She has absolute confidence. 

The kicker comes in the second to last verse, verse 30:
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

The beauty that is referred to here is outward beauty - the beauty that man sees on the outside. This beauty is fleeting. It is here for a day and then goes away. It does not last. What really matters here is the fear of the Lord. A woman who loves God passionately is incredibly beautiful. It has absolutely nothing to do with what she looks like. It doesn't matter if she is skinny or fat. It doesn't matter if she is tall or thin. It doesn't matter if her skin is covered with blemishes or perfectly flawless. It has EVERYTHING to do with her heart - with what is going on inside. 

Beauty is also talked about in the New Testament. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." Unfading beauty. Isn't that what we are all looking for? Isn't that what women want - both young and old?  We want to be beautiful and stay beautiful. So how do we get this beauty that will last forever? By having a quiet and gentle spirit. By fearing the Lord and delighting in His Word. These things are of great worth in God's eyes. Shouldn't that be what matters to us? Being beauty in God's eyes? 

Let me be clear about this. Every single one of you who reads this is beautiful. I don't even need to see you to know that you are. Some won't believe me, but that doesn't change the fact that it is true. I know without a doubt that you are beautiful because God does not make mistakes. Let me repeat that: God does NOT make mistakes! You are not a mistake! Everything about you was planned. The color of your hair, the size of your nose, the tone of your voice, the shape of your eyes, ALL of this was by God's design. So please don't ever call yourself ugly. That is making a mockery of what God has created. He called you GOOD. He called you BEAUTIFUL. You are not and never will be ugly. God doesn't want you to try and change yourself because He loves you just the way you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. 

I will say that there is nothing more beautiful than a confident woman who takes pleasure in the Lord. Someone who does not focus on what others think of her. A girl who takes pride in how God made her and doesn't try to change herself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating against things like makeup, doing your hair and trying to make yourself look nice. Those things are all good in moderation. I'm saying that we shouldn't hide ourselves behind those things. We shouldn't plaster our faces with makeup in an effort to look beautiful. My personal opinion is that every girl looks her most beautiful when she is natural, without makeup. And honestly, just about every guy I have talked to feels the exact same way. 

So what am I getting at here? Girls, I want you to be happy with how you look. I will be the first to say that there are plenty of things about my physical appearance that I wish I could change. But this is the wrong attitude to have. You are the way you are because God made you that way. You are unique. If you were to change anything about yourself outwardly, you would not be you anymore. True, genuine beauty comes from the inside. From character and modesty. From gentleness and kindness. From a ceaseless love for God. 

There are so many girls out there today who are hurting. Who have been torn down by someone else and called ugly. This is horrible, and this needs to stop. What gives us the right to call someone ugly? We have NO right to judge what God has deemed beautiful. So please, please, please if you EVER see this happen, do something about it! We cannot let any more of our daughters starve themselves in an effort to be beautiful. We cannot let any more of our sisters crumble under the pressure of this culture to be beautiful. We are destroying spirits and damaging lives with this pursuit of beauty. When really, we can never obtain it physically. The only way to be beautiful is on the inside. Only then can we ever be satisfied and feel good about ourselves. 

True joy

What is joy? What does it feel like? What does it look like? What is it? The first entry from Merriam-Webster online dictionary says that joy is: "the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires." To be honest, I don't like this definition of joy. It makes joy sound superficial, like we can only experience joy when we have things that we desire. That is not at all the case. 

In my opinion, joy is more than just an emotion or a feeling. It goes deeper than that. Joy is a lifestyle. Joy is a state of being. I have seen too many people, dirt poor, who experience joy to believe that joy comes from gaining some material thing that you desire. Yes, sometimes we can get joy from these things, but like I said before, joy is deeper. 

I am a firm believer that we can only experience true joy when we have established an eternal relationship with Jesus Christ. Anything apart from Jesus is fraudulent. Nonbelievers can feel happiness, but they can not experience true joy. This kind of joy can only come from the Father. 

Don't get me wrong. If you are a Christian and you know true joy, this does not mean that you show it outwardly all the time. This does not mean that you never feel down-in-the-dumps. You will have days when you really don't feel joyful at all. However, like I said, I don't believe that joy is just an emotion.  

Joy is finding out that you or a loved one has just been diagnosed with a terminal disease such as cancer yet still choosing to praise God despite the circumstances. Job said it best in Job 1:21 (NIV), "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." Joy is realizing that what we are given in life comes from God, and He has the right to take those things away from us. Yet even if He chooses to do so, He is still to be praised, and we are still to rejoice in His name. Even if everything - our family, our friends, our possessions - was taken away from us, knowing and experiencing God is more than good enough. That alone is cause for joy. 

Let's go back to Job. This man had everything bad happen to him. He lost all of his life-stock and land. All of his children died. His wife basically abandoned him to suffer alone. He was afflicted with painful boils on his skin. His friends blamed him for all of these hardships. Despite ALL of this, Job understood that God had a plan. God had not forsaken him. God was still there in control of everything. 

The bridge for the song "Blessed Be Your Name" goes like this: You give and take away, You give and take away. My heart will choose to say, LORD, blessed be Your name! Joy is a choice. And sometimes it is not an easy choice at all. It is easy to be happy and joyful when life is good, when everything is working out, and when you aren't experiencing hardships. But how easy is it to rejoice in the Lord when life is handing us lemons? When we get bad news, when we lose a loved one, when we are struggling with an addiction, when we are alone and afraid? How easy is it to feel true joy in moments like that? It's not easy. But we choose to do it anyway. We actively choose to feel joy in the Lord. Because all that we are given is a gift from Him. As Lord of the universe, He has the power and the right to take it all away. We are not entitled to anything. 

Paul writes in Philippians 4:4 (NIV), "Rejoice in the LORD always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" The fact that Paul repeats himself shows us how important it is to rejoice. Notice that Paul doesn't say to rejoice when everything is going great for us. He says to always, always, always rejoice. No matter what! Whatever life is throwing at you right now, you still need to raise your hands and say like Job, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. BLESSED be the name of the LORD!" 

I will admit I sometimes struggle with being joyful and with making that choice. There are days when the last thing I want to do is praise the name of Jesus. But I have to remember to do it anyway. Sometimes just saying, "I praise You, Lord" over and over is enough to start changing my heart. Eventually you get to the point where no matter what, you can still praise the Lord. In Nehemiah 8:10, we see Nehemiah telling the people that the joy of the Lord is their strength. When we rejoice in the Lord, He will give us strength to endure and press on.

I challenge all of us, including myself, to actively experience joy in our lives this week. Make that choice to rejoice in the Lord and in His goodness. Whatever you are facing, He is greater. Give Him praise and honor. Let yourself experience true joy. Let it flood into your heart and pour out through your actions, your emotions, your lifestyle. "Rejoice in the LORD always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" 

Orphans and widows

While watching a promo video for her memoir, I heard a profound quote from Katie Davis. "Jesus does not ask that we care for the less fortunate. He demands it." If you are like me, you will have no idea who Katie Davis is. I was searching for a good book to read, and I stumbled across one called Kisses from Katie. In this book, Katie tells her story. Her journey started as a three-week mission trip to Uganda. This turned into a 10-month commitment to teach kindergarten. But God had bigger plans. Now Katie lives in Uganda permanently. Two years ago, at the age of 21, Katie had adopted 14 Ugandan girls. 

James 1:27 says this, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." We are mandated to take care of those who are less fortunate than us. It isn't an option. Like Katie says, God demands it of us. 

One of the hardest things for me to remember is that the blessings I have received from God are not my own. The money that I have is only given to me by His grace. In reality, the money is all His. He is just loaning it to me. And you better believe that He is expecting me to use it responsibly. This doesn't mean that I can't use what He has given me for myself in some instances. But He expects me to give back to those who are in need. 

A couple of weeks ago, in my nightly Bible reading, I read through the book of Leviticus. In this book, God commands the Israelites that when they reap the harvest from their fields, they are not to harvest the very edges or pick up what is dropped. Instead, they are to leave what is left over for the poor and needy, so that they may glean what they can to use for food. 

Even though this pertains specifically to the Israelites, I think that this is still very important to Christians today. When we are blessed by God, we are to give some of the excess to the poor. As James says, we are to take care of the widows and orphans. This can be done in a variety of ways. Whether it means making a meal for a family in your community who is struggling, or giving money or groceries to someone to buy food for themselves. Sometimes caring for the poor involves service and not money. Volunteer work is incredibly important. In the bigger cities, this could mean working at a soup kitchen or at a program for kids who need a safe place to go after school. 

In a lot of cases, what some people need the most is just someone to love them. Working at my church's VBS each summer, I see some kids who are incredibly touchy-feely. They snuggle right up to you whenever they can. Especially working with the 3-5 year olds, I get a lot of kids who want to hold my hand or want me to pick them up and hold them. Sometimes I wonder how many of these kids don't get this kind of love at home. It's not always easy to love these kids, though. Sometimes they don't smell the greatest or they are dirty. Sometimes they are noisy and loud and don't want to pay attention. Sometimes they just get on your nerves and press all your buttons. 

But Jesus loves them so much! He loves that snotty-nosed, smelly little kid. He loves the kid that can't sit still and just wants to run around. He loves their smiles and their laughter. He loves their personalities. He loves everything about them! And He tells us that if we love Him, then we will love those He loves. This includes those that we would deem as unlovable. 

I saw a lot of these kinds of kids when I was in Peru. In the jungle village of Pilcopata where we stayed for a week, we saw so many kids who were not able to bathe often, if at all. They often smell really bad. Some of these kids had lice in their hair or swollen bellies from parasites. Receiving a prize of toothpaste or a bar of soap was truly a reward for them. These were luxuries that some of them couldn't afford. I will tell you what, though, these kids were some of the cutest kids I have ever seen. Their laughter was infectious. They would sing praises to Jesus loudly and unashamedly. 

We have a lot to learn from those who are less fortunate. Many times these people know what is truly important in life. It's not money or food, but friendship, family and faith. If we trust in God and choose to follow Him, He will provide the rest. And often these provisions come from other Christians, giving from their excess, following the call of God to care for the needy. 

Giving out of the goodness of your heart is a blessing in itself, though. There is no feeling like the one you get from giving to other people. To see joy and relief on someone's face is heart-warming. It truly is better to give than receive. I sometimes wish that I had lots of money just so I could help those in need. I just want to make people happy. I don't want people to have to worry about what they are going to eat or how they are going to provide for their families. I want to bless others in the same way that I myself have been blessed. 

My advice would be to start off small. Start by doing one little act of giving to someone else. This could mean paying for the meal of someone behind you in line at a fast food restaurant. Or leaving a gift card in the mailbox for your mailman. Or donating some canned food to your local food bank. It doesn't have to be something big. And you never know how far God can take your small donation. You don't know what someone is facing today. Your act of kindness could mean the world to them. Start small and work your way up to the big things. 

When you give with a willing spirit, you will find yourself being blessed above and beyond what you had known before. God will reward you for your actions. When we love and care for other people, we experience the love of God in bigger ways. We are blessed when we bless others. 

As a final word, I challenge you to go through your Bible and pick out all the verses that talk about taking care of the poor. There are so many verses pertaining to this. God must really think it is important. 

Refusing to bow

We all know the story. Three young men, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, later to become Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, along with Daniel are taken from their homes in Judah  and shipped off to Babylon. At this point in time, Jehoiakim, the second son of Josiah, was king of Judah. He was not a godly king at all. 2 Chronicles 36:5 says it all, "Jehoiakim was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem eleven years. he did evil in the eyes of the LORD his God." Because of his sin, God handed him over to the Babylonian ruler, King Nebuchadnezzar. 

Nebuchadnezzer took these four men, along with other young, healthy Israelites of nobility, back to Babylon with him. He wanted them to learn and study under him so as to serve in his palace. Daniel was especially liked by Nebuchadnezzar and earned a high position in his court. 

The story I want to focus on, though, is found in Daniel chapter 3. It is a very familiar story. No doubt if you attended Sunday School as a child, you probably heard this story more than once. In my Bible, chapter 3 has a title, The Image of Gold and the Fiery Furnace. Sound familiar yet? 

Basically the story goes like this. King Nebuchadnezzar thought it would be a good idea to build a huge image of gold. My NIV Bible says that this statue was ninety feet high and nine feet wide. Then, just to show how great he though himself to be, Nebuchadnezzar had all of his rulers in all of his provinces come to see this giant statue he had created. However, it wasn't good enough that they just come see it. He wanted them to worship it. He wanted them to literally get on their knees and bow down to it. They were to do this as soon as they heard the music. Nebuchadnezzar wasn't messing around either. He gave them a warning, "Whoever does not fall down and worship will immediately be thrown into a blazing furnace," chapter 3 verse 6. 

This puts our friends Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in a predicament. Being godly men of Judah, they have been taught their whole lives that they are to worship no one except for the God of the Israelites. They are absolutely forbidden from bowing down to any graven image. This could get ugly for these young guys. 

The music sounds. All around, people are bowing down to this graven image. I can just picture Nebuchadnezzar looking around and feeling so proud of himself. Look at all these people who are practically bowing down to him and his creation. I'm sure he was feeling pretty good right about then. However, his good mood was about to be spoiled. 

Everyone was bowing down to the image of gold except for three guys - Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Imagine the guts it would have taken to remain standing. When all around them, people are bowing. These three men of God refused to bow. They knew the consequences of their stand. They knew that this could only mean certain death. Yet this did not deter them. They knew what was right, and they refused to conform. They valued their God over their own lives. 

Nebuchadnezzar summons them and tells them again that they will be thrown in the furnace if they do not bow. Their reply is awesome: "...If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up," chapter 3, verse 17-18. They knew that God was able to save them. They also knew that He might choose not to. Regardless of whether or not God was going to rescue them, they still refused to bow down and worship the king's image. 

I can see Nebuchadnezzar's face now. I bet he is really ticked. The Bible says he was so furious that he ordered the furnace to be heated three times hotter. He ordered his strongest soldiers to throw Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego into the flames. It was now so hot that it killed the soldiers who threw them in. 

But then the amazing happens. Nebuchadnezzar is expecting these rebels to burn up instantly. After all, his soldiers are now dead because of the fire. How in the world could these three survive? He was probably feeling a little relieved that they were gone. Now he could go on with the ceremony... but wait. As he looks into the fire, he can make out the figures of the men. But now, there aren't just three figures, there are... four figures. Four! He tells his advisers, "Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods," verse 25. 

To make a long story short, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego walk out of the furnace without even a singed hair or the smell of fire. Nebuchadnezzar declares that praise be made to God because of this. And after this whole ordeal, our friends walk away with a promotion. How awesome! 

Let's go back to the bowing part. Could you have done that? Could I? In the face of certain death, these men made a judgment call. They chose God, knowing that consequences of disobeying Him would be far worse than anything the king could do to them. 

It's so easy to conform. It's so easy to just go along with what everyone else is doing. That way, we don't stand out, we don't draw attention to ourselves, and we can just keep on living the way we are living. After all, we don't want to seem too fanatical. This is absolutely wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Romans 12:2 is very clear, "Do no conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- His good, pleasing and perfect will." As Christians, we are to be in the world but not of the world. We are supposed to stand out. We are supposed to be different. 

It's not easy to say no to your friends when they want to do something that goes against what you believe. I've been there. I'm not going to lie, sometimes it sucks to have to say no. You want to be with your friends, you don't want to seem "uncool," but you have convictions. Just like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, you have to make a judgment call. Will you make the right one? 

There are often repercussions. You may be mocked. You may lose some friends. But in the end, all of it is worth it. You can stand before God knowing that you didn't back down from what you knew was right. It is always better to choose God. You simply cannot go wrong with Him. Your short life on earth may suffer a little, but compared to eternity, it means nothing. 

And to be honest, if you are investing in the right kind of people, they won't mock you for your convictions. In fact, if you have good Christian friends, they will join you in standing against what is wrong. Hopefully they are making the right judgment calls as well. If you have to stand alone, you stand alone. But it is always easier to stand up for what is right when you have someone standing beside you. And actually, you always have Someone standing beside you. Christ will not let you face the battles alone. Just as He was in the furnace with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, so will He be with you when you face the battles and hardships that come with being a Christian. 

Like most of what I have written, this is sooo much easier said than done. It's hard to stand up for what you believe in when you are being attacked. I've been there. Fear sets in. You don't want to say the wrong thing or look like a fool. You don't want to be laughed at and humiliated. But weather those storms. Don't let the fear and humiliation consume you. Remember that Christ was mocked and scorned. He was laughed at and humiliated. He knows exactly how hard it is to not back down. He will greatly reward you for your steadfastness. 

Keep on standing your ground, my fellow believers. We are entering a time when Christianity is being greatly attacked. We cannot afford to yield. We must push on. We must fight the good fight. We must refuse to bow. The world is counting on us. 

The Power of Prayer

For a Christian, the word prayer is used almost as much as the name of Jesus. We talk about prayer in Sunday School, in our church services. We have special gatherings on Wednesdays nights devoted to prayer. We pray before meals. We pray before bed. Prayer is so common in the life of a Christian. 

Yet I've been reflecting on prayer a lot lately, and I've come to the conclusion that I take prayer for granted. Oh yes, like a good Christian, I pray every day, multiple times a day. Yet I take it for granted. Rather, I should say I take its power for granted. And to be honest, I don't think I'm the only one who does. 

I taught at my church's VBS not too long ago. I was in charge of the 3, 4, and 5 year olds. What a handful, yet what a blessing. One of the nights, while trying to kill some time before crafts, I took my kids outside to a small hill behind the church. I wanted them to be somewhere where they couldn't see other people. I wanted as little distraction as possible. I had been thinking a lot about how I was going to teach these kids what prayer is. It's so vital to a Christian, and I really wanted to be able to explain it well. I sat them down and asked them the question, "What is prayer?" Of course, being 3, 4, or 5 years old, most of them raised their hand. I have no idea whether or not any of them actually knew what prayer was, but one little girl I called on hit the nail right on the head. "Miss Sarah, prayer is talking to God." 

Let that sink in for a moment. Prayer is talking to God. Prayer is a one-to-one correspondence with the Maker of the universe. Prayer is extremely private. You can have 50 people praying at the same time, yet God is listening to each pray individually. He is giving each person His undivided attention. He is paying attention to you as if you were the only person on the face of the earth. 

Too often, I'm afraid that we overcomplicate prayer. We try to use big words and long drawn-out sentences. We want to sound eloquent. There's nothing wrong with that if that is how you normally talk. God will hear those prayers. Yet that isn't what prayer has to be. Prayer can be fragments. Prayer can be run-ons. Prayer doesn't abide by the laws of grammar. Your spoken prayer can be gibberish, but God still understands because He sees what is in your heart. He is able to look past the five-syllable words and see the simple cries of your heart. He doesn't need a dictionary or thesaurus to see the meaning behind what you are saying. He already knows. 

Sometimes I don't even know what to pray. I don't know what to say. I don't know where to start. Sometimes the words just don't come. You could be in a place where you desperately need to talk to God, but you just can't seem to say a word. Romans 8:26 says, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." The beauty of prayer is that we don't even need to have the words. The Holy Spirit can see deep inside of us, to the very depths of our souls, and He can see what we truly need and what we want to say. He intercedes on our behalf and takes those unspoken requests to God.

I'm also afraid to say that too often our prayers consist only of requests. We need to understand that God is not a vending machine. We shouldn't just send up our requests and suddenly expect an answer. Yes, sometimes it does work that way, but most times, not. We shouldn't only talk to God when we want something. 

After all, prayer is a conversation. Christians shouldn't be afraid to just talk to God like they would talk to someone else. There's nothing wrong with saying, "Hey, God. So I'm really bored at work right now." Or "The funniest thing happened to me today. You'll get a kick out of this." Or "Man, I have so much homework right now. My professors have been really laying it on me this week." God wants to hear it all! He wants to take part in every aspect of your life. Yes, He already knows your thoughts and feelings, but He wants to hear you say them. He wants you to share them with Him. 

Think of a mother who already knows that their child got an A on a test. She still wants her kid to tell her about the A. There's something about hearing the excitement in his voice and seeing his facial expressions that make it so much sweeter. God wants the same from us. He wants to see our excitement, our sorrow, our frustration, our helplessness, our happiness. He wants us to tell Him everything - every emotion, every thought, every feeling, every moment. 

I don't think a lot of us, myself included, realize just how many times during the day that God answers our prayers. I've been noticing a lot lately that I will ask God to help me do something, but when it actually gets done, I forget to thank Him for His help. Or often, I don't realize just how incredible it is that He answers the small prayers. Of course, we thank and praise Him when He does great things - as we should - but we forget to thank and praise Him for the small things. Those are equally special and should be treated as such. 

We need to realize that prayer is incredibly powerful. We are talking to the One who parted the Red Sea, who stopped the sun during the middle of the day, who destroyed armies when all seemed hopeless, who took down a giant with a small boy and a sling. No thing is too big or too small for Him. When we pray, we need to believe that God will hear our request. We need to believe deep down inside that God can and will give us an answer. That answer may not always be what we want, but we need to take it to God regardless. We need to have faith that God will make the best of the situation. With faith, we can move mountains. 

So next time you pray, whether it be in the next 30 seconds or 30 minutes, take a minute to realize just how AWESOME it is that you are talking to God. Because it truly is completely and totally awesome. What an amazing experience - to speak with God Almighty and to have every confidence that He is listening. 

"Here am I. Send me!"

I have plans for my life. I'm sure everyone does. My plan has always been to get married shortly after graduating from college, find a good job with decent pay, buy a nice house before later having kids (potentially). Oh, and I want a Ferrari, but that might be a bit excessive. All of that doesn't sound too bad, right? That's not too much to ask for. I like to think I have my life planned out pretty well. I want to live near my parents and my sister and her husband. I want to have some animals, maybe horses, a dog and a cat. After a few years, I'll have children - two boys. I mean, this all sounds pretty normal. Ask just about anyone, and they will give you a similar story. 

However, although there is nothing wrong with what I have planned for my life, in the end, it's not my call. I don't get to decide what is going to happen with me after graduation. I might get married, and I might not. In church today, this verse was brought up: "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." ~ Proverbs 16:9. I have my life planned out, but God is the One determining what I do with my life. 

For some people, this is out of the question. American culture preaches individuality. You are your own person. You make your own decisions. You can do whatever you want with your life. You are strong and independent, and you don't need anyone besides yourself. You can make it on your own. For someone growing up with this mindset, it is extremely hard to just hand the reins over to God and say, "All right, God. Here's my life, You do with it what You please." 

But isn't that what Christians are called to do? Our lives are not our own. We have been bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ, and ultimately, He's the one in control. I won't lie... sometimes it is really hard for me to acknowledge that. I am the kind of person who wants things to be done my way. I was never good at working on group projects because I always felt that the project could be done better if I had just done it myself. So in all honesty, it's not easy for me to give up control of my life. I mean, after all, I have dreams and goals. There are things that I want to accomplish, places I want to go, people I want to be with. And while God's plan may line up with mine, I have to be willing to accept that there is the chance that God is going to call me to something else. 

I went to Peru this past summer, and when I returned, I had a lot of people asking if I would ever go back. I would always tell them, absolutely. It was such a beautiful place with great people. I would love to go back. Then I would always get those people who would say something like, "Well who knows? Maybe God is calling you to be a missionary there." Whoa. Hold up. No one said anything about being a missionary. 

I got to thinking, though. What if that is God's plan for my life? What if He has called me to be a missionary somewhere in the world? What if I am meant to leave my comfort zone  with my family, my friends and everything that is familiar? At this point in my life, I don't feel called to do that, but that could easily change. God is ordering my steps, and I need to be prepared for anything. 

The biggest thing to keep in mind, though, is that God is not going to call you to do something you are unequipped for. He will give you the tools and the training to accomplish His purposes. Also, He is not going to make you miserable. Wherever He sends you, whatever He has you doing, it will feel so right. It will feel so rewarding and so purposeful. 

There's a saying that I have written on my mirror in my dorm room. "God's plans are better than my dreams." I look at this daily because I constantly need to be reminded of this. No matter what my dreams are, God's plan is better. FAR better. Even if I don't end up rich, even if I don't have the house or car of my dreams, even if I don't get married, whatever God has in store for me will be so much greater. When you are fully engaged in serving the Lord and doing what He has for you, the material things of this world become second-best. They tend to lose their importance in our eyes. Sure, we may still want those things, but they are vital to our success. We understand that our lives can be rewarding even without them. 

We can all learn from the prophet Isaiah, who, when commissioned by God, immediately said, "Here am I. Send me!" This is easier said than done. I tell God that I am prepared for whatever He has in store for me, but if tomorrow He called me to serve in the mission field, how readily would I answer with "Here am I. Send me!"? I'd like to think that would be my first response, but in my heart, I know that it wouldn't be that easy. I would probably struggle with that decision. But in the end, you will never go wrong if you are following the call of God. 

Another verse that came up in church is a very familiar one. Jeremiah 29:11 - "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" As I said before, it is not the will of God that we be miserable. He wants us to succeed and be happy. He wants us to prosper. But He always wants us to do this in such a way that will bring Him honor and glory. There is no better way to glorify God than to listen to His voice and do what He commands. 

I hope you will just be thinking about all of this. Talk to God about this. Ask Him what He has in store for your life. Thank Him for where you currently are. Thank Him for being in control. Make it your daily goal to be closer to Him today than you were yesterday. And no matter what He may call you to, strive to be like Isaiah and reply with, "Here am I. Send me!" 

Thoughts

Today has been a pretty good Monday. The weather outside is gorgeous, and I am hoping this means that spring is here for good. I loves these days because I am reminded of God's goodness and faithfulness. Winter can feel so long and dreary, but we have the comfort of knowing that soon spring will arrive, and with it, beautiful weather and happy people. 

I am also reminded on beautiful spring days of God's beauty - the beauty of His character and of His creation. Even though it's only the beginning of spring and the trees are still bare, there is a sense of something wonderful that is about to happen. We anticipate the budding of those trees, the sprouting of the flowers, the beauty of life happening right before our eyes. All of this happens by God's hands. I imagine it is even more enjoyable for Him than it is for us. 

God made everything in His creation beautiful. At the very beginning, God called everything good. When God created man, His creation was finally complete. He looked down upon His treasure and proclaimed that everything was very good. We were the last piece in the puzzle. 

Sometimes it's hard to look at the vastness of creation and remember that God thinks of us as more beautiful. I've had the pleasure of seeing some of the greatest sites in the world, and it is incredibly humbling to realize that the God who created these wonders of nature knows each and everyone one of us by name and thinks of us more highly than all of creation. 

The bottom line is that we are God's treasures. He loves us individually and personally. No matter how flawed we are, He is always ready to forgive us and welcome us back into His arms. I only wish that we could live up to this standard. I wish that we could treat each other with the same level of respect and caring that God shows to us. Too often I hear people criticize others, and unfortunately, I am one of those people. It's as if in that moment we think ourselves better than that person, like they are less of a human being, like they are less worthy than we are. This is a lie from the pit of hell! 

I don't know who you are or what you are going through today, but I want to give you this encouragement: God loves you. That phrase is tossed around so much in Christian circles, and I know I often hear it said to me without thinking deeper about what it actually means. I like to look at it this way. God's love for you is so great that even if you were the only person on the face of the earth, Christ still would have died for you. 1 Peter 3:9b says "He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." Every person is precious to Christ, and He would not have changed a thing, even if you were the only person He needed to die for. Such love is hard for me to comprehend. 

Another thing: don't ever tell yourself that you are not as worthy or beautiful in God's eyes as someone else. I sometimes fall into this trap of thinking that God has bigger and better plans for other people and that His plan for my life is going to be second-best. No! Another lie from Satan! God's plan for each person is different. Sometimes I wonder why for some people, life just seems to fall in their lap. They get accepted into the college they want, they get great grades, they get married to their high school sweetheart or the only person they have ever dated, and their lives are just perfect and happy. I don't know why this happens for some people and not for others (and I probably never will know), but I do know that this is not because God loves them more. Romans 2:11 says, "...God does not show favoritism." He just simply has a different plan for your life. And I can assure you that His plan for your life will be the very best. 

These are just a few things that I like to remind myself of on a daily basis - God is so beautiful and His creation is amazing, God thinks I am beautiful, no matter who I am, and God's plan for my life is unique and incredible. 

Lastly, I can't tell you how thankful I am that my God is a personal God. I don't have to worry about trying to be more "holy" than anyone else. In my relationship with God, it's only God and myself. I am accountable to Him only, and I don't have to worry about trying to beat other people into Heaven (what a relief!). The only person I have to try to be better than is myself. I have to daily remind myself to be a better person than I was the day before. Often, I fail in this regard, but I still need to try every single day. 

These are my thoughts from the past few weeks. I don't know who all reads this (if anyone), but I hope that you have a fantastic day and a good start to the week. If you have some nice spring weather right now, don't forget to go outside and enjoy the beauty of life and God's creation! 

Stillness

One of my favorite Bible verses is Psalm 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." I love just sitting and thinking about this verse. Often when I am fearful or worried about something, this is the first verse that comes to my mind. 

How often do we actually do what this verse says though? The first two words are clear: be still. In my opinion, those words are easier said than done, especially in our high-paced, technology-filled culture. I know that I have very few moments when I am still. It seems that I am constantly busy with homework and studying, and if I'm not doing that, I'm usually with my friends, and if I'm not with my friends, then usually I am doing the most mind-numbing activities like watching TV shows or aimlessly surfing the Internet. In college, the closest I get to being still is right before I go to bed when I read my Bible. 

I do have to say that deer season does provide me with an excellent opportunity to be still. When you are out sitting in the woods, waiting for a deer, you are trying to be as quiet as possible. Deer are very flighty animals, and even the smallest sound can send them running. For me, this is the perfect opportunity to talk to God and just spend time alone with Him with no distractions. Yes, the woods aren't always quiet - there's birds chirping, squirrels running around and leaves rustling. But all in all, being alone in the forest is so peaceful. It's probably the only time I am ever really still. 

Stillness is rare and precious. We learn so many things when we stop and reflect. When we actually force ourselves to put aside all distractions and focus wholly on God, we learn so much about Him and His character. Like the verse says, we know that He is God. We understand it. We truly get it. It's such a powerful realization, too. He will be exalted in the nations. He will be exalted in the earth. It has nothing to do with us and everything to do with Him. 

Another one of my favorite passages dealing with stillness is 1 Kings 19:9-12. This is when the Lord God appears to the prophet Elijah in the cave. Basically at this moment, Elijah is scared. He is telling God how Israelites have broken their covenant with God and they are killing the prophets and breaking down God's altars. Elijah says, "I am the only one left, and they are now trying to kill me too." I can almost hear the desperation and fear in his voice. 

Then the Lord speaks. "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." If I were Elijah, I wouldn't know what to expect. But Elijah obeys. First there is a great and powerful wind. This wind is so powerful that the mountains shake and the rocks shatter. But God is not in the wind. Next comes a great earthquake. We have all seen how powerful earthquakes can be. It must have been terrifying for Elijah to witness. But we are told that God is not in the earthquake either. After the earthquake, comes a fire. Just this past summer, the western half of the United States dealt with terrible wildfires. Fire is dangerous and intense. However, God is not in this fire. 

Then it comes. A soft whisper. The King James version calls it "a still small voice." You see, God is more powerful than the wind, the earthquake and the fire. However, He chose not to pass by Elijah in any of those. Instead, He spoke to Elijah softly, in a still small voice. In a gentle whisper. It was with this voice that the Lord Almighty reassured Elijah and calmed his fears. 

I think too often we beg God for help, we pour out our fears to Him and ask Him to calm us, but then we miss hearing His still small voice. We get too caught up in the world around us that we miss Him. Oh sure, He could come roaring in like the powerful wind and reassure us and tell us that everything is fine. But He doesn't always do that. Sometimes He waits in the background, waiting for us to go find Him. 

How many times have we tried to talk to someone who was distracted? Either they are listening to music or watching TV or reading a book. They give us maybe half of their attention or less. In fact, most of the time, they don't even catch what we are saying, and they often ask us to repeat ourselves. This is exactly how we treat God. We sing the worship songs, we listen to worship music, we listen to the pastor's sermon on Sunday... all of these are good things, and we can definitely grow closer to God through them, but I feel like there needs to be more. There needs to be that time when it's just you and God, alone in a silent environment, when you refuse to let your mind wander and you focus all of our attention on the Creator, your Father. 

After all, Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:6 to go to a quiet room when we pray. We don't need to be out in front of people. We don't even need to pray out loud. "But when you pray, go into our room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Quietness, stillness. 

The beautiful thing about being alone with God is understand that He desperately wants to have a one-to-one correspondence with you. Just you and Him! The Creator of the universe wants to have alone time with only you. That's a crazy, wonderful thought! God, who knows everything about you and who passionately loves and adores you, wants you to meet with Him in a quiet place. 

In God's perfect stillness, we find God's perfect will. 

"The sound of 'gentle stillness' after all the thunder and wind have passed will be the ultimate Word from God." ~ Jim Elliot 

Matthew 25:40

What is poverty? I struggle to find one correct answer to this question. Poverty is different for everyone. In America, you can live in poverty and still own a house and have food on the table. In parts of Africa, to live in poverty often means you go days without food, you sleep on the ground, you can't afford an education. 

I have been blessed. I live in the United States, which in itself provides many great opportunities. I have food on the table for every meal (and also food for in between meals). I drink clean water every day. I'm receiving an education from a great college. I have a house to go home to, I have enough clothes to get me through a couple weeks without wearing the same thing twice, I have a vehicle that gets me from place to place, I am healthy and happy. But sometimes I ask myself why? 

Don't get me wrong. I am so incredibly thankful for all of this. It is only because of God that I enjoy these things. But when I think about it, I just don't understand why I live this blessed life when there are hundreds of thousands, even millions, of people who suffering every day from diseases and starvation. There are children who run around naked because they have no clothes or shoes. There are teenagers who are nothing but skin and bones because they have no food. There are mothers and fathers who lay awake at night because they don't know how they are going to feed their children the next day. Why do I have a surplus of food and clothing when they people have nothing? 

It's not fair. I have done nothing to deserve what I have. I am no different from them. They are human, and I am human. They are intensely loved by God, and I am intensely loved by God. It just doesn't seem fair that they are dying of a disease when the medication in America can be bought for less than $10. It isn't right that they go long periods of time without a balanced meal, and here I am, throwing away perfectly good food in the cafeteria because either it didn't taste good or I've already stuffed myself too full and I can't finish it. 

This bothers me so much. Sometimes I think about it so hard that it makes my head hurt. It simply isn't fair. The worst part is that so many Americans have no idea what is actually going on in other countries. We see commercials on TV about these children who run around in the dumps looking for food, and we say, "That's so sad! I wish I could help." Then we turn the channel as we take a sip of our soda or eat a little more of our popcorn. 

I've seen poverty firsthand. I went to Peru this past summer, and I saw children playing in the mud with no shoes or pants on. I saw families living in shacks. I saw little boys and girls with bloated stomachs from parasites. My eyes were definitely opened to a different side of the world. Yet sometimes I forget these things that I saw. I complain about the food in college and how there is never anything I want to eat. I take for granted the fact that I even have food in the first place. 

In some ways, I think Christians in America are failing these people. We hear stories from missionaries about their hardships, we donate money to their cause, and we are content to just sit in our pews on Sundays and listen. If we were to be approached by someone about an opportunity to serve in a third-world country, many of us would give excuses like we are too busy, we don't have time, we have families that we can't leave, etc. The list could go on and on. 

I'm not saying that giving to missionaries isn't an effective way to help. That's not the point at all. Our missionaries are incredible people who are giving of themselves to serve the Lord and others. They need our support and prayers by all means. I'm just saying that we shouldn't be content to just stop there. We need to be willing to go to these places ourselves. We need to be willing to step out of our comfort zones and see the world through God's eyes. And most of all, when we do travel to other parts of the world, we need to remember that these people deserve our respect and our love. We cannot strip others of their dignity. They are hard-working people who love their families - this is no different from most of us. 

Lastly, we need to remember to be continually thankful to God for each of the blessings He has given to us. I mean really be thankful. All of this could be stripped from us in an instant. It is only by God's grace and mercy that America is living in wealth - this could all change. If we were all suddenly plunged into extreme poverty, wouldn't we want the help of others from around the world? Wouldn't we look to our fellow humans to support us in our troubling times? 

If nothing else, at least think about these things. You don't have to feel bad when you eat a bag of potato chips or a donut or whatever. I do those things all the time. Maybe, however, when do you allow yourself to indulge, say a prayer to God, asking Him how you might be able to help others. It may be something small - helping a local food bank, volunteering at a homeless shelter. Baby steps. You don't have to completely jump in right at the get-go. Start by putting your toe in the water. Quit standing on the sidelines and do something.