Forgiveness

I recently watched a video about two men. Two different people who were brought together through horrible circumstances. Before their meeting, the older of the two was a youth pastor with a wife, a daughter and another child on the way. He had a great family, a good church and was enjoying the blessings of God. The younger man was a fireman whose life changed drastically one day. 

Matthew - the younger man - was driving home from a very long shift. He had not slept in a long time, and he was exhausted. He didn't even realize that he had fallen asleep and that his car had veered into the opposite lane. He didn't see the oncoming car. That impact changed his life, but it also changed the life of the youth pastor, Erik. 

Erik's wife and daughter were in that car. The accident took her life and the life of their unborn child. Their daughter, who was in the backseat, survived with only minor scrapes and bruises. Erik's "perfect" life had turned upside down in a matter of seconds. 

In the weeks following the accident, Erik had a choice to make. He could either press charges for the maximum penalty, which ultimately could send Matthew to jail and destroy his chances of ever being a firefighter again. Or he could opt for a lesser penalty, which would result in something like a fine and community service. 

Unlike what many other people would do, Erik chose the lesser penalty. His only thought was how to bring the glory to God. He had no desire for revenge or retribution. He didn't want to destroy Matthew's life and career. Instead, he chose to let God work through him in order to forge a relationship with this man who ultimately was the cause of his wife's death. In other words, Erik chose to forgive Matthew. 

These two guys tell their story much better than I ever could, and I encourage you to watch it for yourself: 

After watching the video and listening to the story, I tried to put myself in Erik's shoes. Would I be able to forgive someone who had caused me so much pain? Could I go even further and strike up a friendship with this person and begin investing in their life? Those are some tough, tough questions that I have never had to answer, and I pray that I never will have to answer them. But they are good to think about. In times of intense physical or emotional pain, how do we give glory to God? 

Erik goes on to say that there is a bigger picture. "[God] paints on a canvas the size of the universe." We don't see what is going on behind the scenes. We can only see a tiny piece of the bigger picture. When we suffer, we often tend to strike out at God and ask, "Why are you doing this to me? Why am I being punished?" The last thing we want to do is forgive. 

I have heard people say that it is easier to forgive someone who has done something wrong against you by accident. However, imagine that someone has purposefully hurt you. How easy is it to forgive in that situation? 

When looking for an example, there is no greater example than Jesus Christ. He is the ultimate display for forgiveness. Here He was, a completely pure, innocent man who was doing so much good in this world - healing the sick, the lame, the blind, raising people from the dead, teaching about His love. He had done nothing to hurt us. Yet how much we hurt Him! 

We beat Him to beyond human recognition. We pulled out His hair. We spit on Him. We drove thorns into His head. We nailed Him to a cross, and we left Him to die. Like a criminal. Like the lowest of lows. Isaiah 53:7 says, "He was oppressed, and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so He opened not His mouth." He did not speak out against us. He didn't try to argue His case before a judge. He willingly let Himself die for something He knew He hadn't done.

You might be saying, "Well, I wasn't there. I didn't nail Him to the cross. I wouldn't have done that." But haven't you done that already? Isn't ever sin you commit another thorn in His head? Another nail in His hand? Another lash on His back? Every single time we act out in defiance against our Creator, we are adding to His suffering. It's like we are looking Him in the face and saying, "I know you died for me, but I don't care." Ouch. 

Yet even after all of the pain we inflicted upon Him, listen to what He says. Luke 23:34a - "And Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." We did this to Him on purpose with malicious intent, and yet He willingly chose to forgive us. He saw the bigger picture. 

If Jesus Christ can forgive us each and every day for the wrongs we do against Him, how much more should we forgive each other for the wrongs done against us? In fact, compared to what Jesus went through, it should be easy for us to forgive. How often we hold grudges, though, and refuse to let go of our hurt, our anger, and our sense of injustice. 

When we refuse to forgive, it is like having a huge burden on our backs. We carry it around and let it weigh us down. We get tired and the hurt grows, but we refuse to let go of that silly burden. Once we make the choice of forgiveness, though, the burden is gone, and we are free again. 

If there is anything today that you are holding inside against someone, I encourage you to go to them and forgive them, face-to-face. It is one thing to forgive someone in front of God, but it is another thing to go to them and let them know they have been forgiven. Sometimes, often times, it is not easy. They may not know that they have caused you pain. It may be embarrassing or seem foolish, but it is necessary. 

I leave you with these lyrics from Tenth Avenue North's song Losing:
"We think pain is owed apologies, and then it'll stop. 

But truth be told, it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not.

Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound,

Of mercy and Your grace, Father, send Your angels down."

"Father, give me grace to forgive them, 'cause I feel like the one losing."