Pushing back the dark

We are at war. No, I'm not taking about any physical war, though there are those being waged in the world. I am referring to a great spiritual battle in which we are presently engaged. We are fighting psychological battles - battles of the mind - and our opponent is lethal. More and more, I hear of Christians struggling with some major issues. Depression, anxiety, suicide, self-harm, divorce, abortion, guilt, shame... the list goes on. These are obviously not of the Father, so why then, as children of God, do we so often struggle with these problems? We are meant to be the light of the world, but it is very hard to be the light when we feel surrounded by darkness. 

For some Christians, the sin of the world can be overwhelming. We start to wonder why we even bother. What's the point? Why should we keep fighting when it seems that the enemy is only getting stronger? I'm going to be honest, it's exhausting. My own personal struggle with anxiety is a daily battle. One in which I have to take control of my mind every morning and remind myself that God is in control and I am not. 

Christians are overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of passion and joy, we feel downtrodden and discouraged. We are failing at our relationships, our jobs, our home lives, at school, with friends, etc. Doubt and fear creep in. Satan, the destroyer, waits in the shadows for these moments of vulnerability and when we show the smallest ounce of weakness, he attacks with a vengeance. 

Is there no hope? Where is our Savior? Why hasn't Christ come riding in on the white horse to save us from this fallen world? Why does God feel so far away? Why do we so often feel our prayers fall on deafened ears? Why are we not getting answers to our desperate pleas for help?

I truly believe that one of our biggest problems is that we have put God into a box. We have made God small. We have tried to hard to understand His vastness that we have, in a   sense, dumbed Him down. We see God with our human scales over our eyes. We speak of God in human terms. 

I cannot comprehend God. I do not know why there is suffering in the world. I do not understand why I deal with so much anxiety every day. I can't tell you why a five-year-old boy gets brain cancer and dies. I have no answers as to why people murder or steal or destroy. I do not understand how one man can look another man in the eye and pull the trigger that ends his life. This all cannot be part of God's plan, right? After all, a loving God would never allow one of His children to get sick with Ebola in a country where He called that person to serve. That just is not fair. 

This world is dark. The future looks bleak. Often, there is little cause for hope. But regardless of how we view the world, we must still remember that we carry within us the Light of Christ. We need to stop focusing so much on the darkness and the sense of purposelessness. With every small act of good, we push back the dark. With every kind deed, we push back the dark. Whenever we help someone up, we push back the dark. Every step forward, no matter how small, is pushing back the darkness. 

There is a quote in one of my all-time favorite movie series, The Lord of the Rings. In the second movie of the trilogy, The Two Towers, Sam and Frodo are immersed in a terribly bleak situation. There is so much evil surrounding them, and Frodo begins to lose hope. He forgets why he even accepted the quest in the first place. This clip, when taken out of the secular context and put into the Christian context, is exceptionally powerful. 

There is good still in this world. There is still hope and love and joy and happiness. There are still selfless people willing to give of themselves for others. There is still so much that is worth fighting for. The darkness cannot linger forever. Darkness is not eternal. Light is eternal. Love wins, and one day, hate will be destroyed forever. Depression will be destroyed forever. Anxiety and fear will be destroyed forever. They cannot linger because they are of the devil, and he is not eternal. He can and will be destroyed. 

Don't ever give up. Even when your circumstances are overwhelming. Even when you feel so hopeless you almost can't breathe, do not give up. The pain and suffering cannot last forever. If by one deed you can make the world a better place, by all means do the deed. If you can somehow in some way make someone a better person, no matter how hard it may be, help that person. 

This is the only way we can find true fulfillment. By overlooking your circumstances and continuing to fight the good fight, you are bringing glory to God and death to evil. When you feel too tired and too overwhelmed to carry on, rest in His Spirit. Refresh your mind. You are not alone in this fight! We have the all powerful God on our side. He has not abandoned us to a futile war. He is before, behind and beside us every step of the way. Even when He feels so far away, keep fighting. Keep pushing back the dark. Don't lose heart and don't lose hope. Keep searching for Him. Keep praying to Him. Keep loving Him. 

We cannot win this fight alone. The fight may not even be won in our lifetime, but it will be won. God wins. If we live in God, we will win. So put one foot in front of the other. When you feel yourself surrounded by darkness, let the light of Christ that dwells in you shine all the stronger. You can make it through, and you WILL make it through. Little by little, keep pushing back the dark. 

Forgiveness

I recently watched a video about two men. Two different people who were brought together through horrible circumstances. Before their meeting, the older of the two was a youth pastor with a wife, a daughter and another child on the way. He had a great family, a good church and was enjoying the blessings of God. The younger man was a fireman whose life changed drastically one day. 

Matthew - the younger man - was driving home from a very long shift. He had not slept in a long time, and he was exhausted. He didn't even realize that he had fallen asleep and that his car had veered into the opposite lane. He didn't see the oncoming car. That impact changed his life, but it also changed the life of the youth pastor, Erik. 

Erik's wife and daughter were in that car. The accident took her life and the life of their unborn child. Their daughter, who was in the backseat, survived with only minor scrapes and bruises. Erik's "perfect" life had turned upside down in a matter of seconds. 

In the weeks following the accident, Erik had a choice to make. He could either press charges for the maximum penalty, which ultimately could send Matthew to jail and destroy his chances of ever being a firefighter again. Or he could opt for a lesser penalty, which would result in something like a fine and community service. 

Unlike what many other people would do, Erik chose the lesser penalty. His only thought was how to bring the glory to God. He had no desire for revenge or retribution. He didn't want to destroy Matthew's life and career. Instead, he chose to let God work through him in order to forge a relationship with this man who ultimately was the cause of his wife's death. In other words, Erik chose to forgive Matthew. 

These two guys tell their story much better than I ever could, and I encourage you to watch it for yourself: 

After watching the video and listening to the story, I tried to put myself in Erik's shoes. Would I be able to forgive someone who had caused me so much pain? Could I go even further and strike up a friendship with this person and begin investing in their life? Those are some tough, tough questions that I have never had to answer, and I pray that I never will have to answer them. But they are good to think about. In times of intense physical or emotional pain, how do we give glory to God? 

Erik goes on to say that there is a bigger picture. "[God] paints on a canvas the size of the universe." We don't see what is going on behind the scenes. We can only see a tiny piece of the bigger picture. When we suffer, we often tend to strike out at God and ask, "Why are you doing this to me? Why am I being punished?" The last thing we want to do is forgive. 

I have heard people say that it is easier to forgive someone who has done something wrong against you by accident. However, imagine that someone has purposefully hurt you. How easy is it to forgive in that situation? 

When looking for an example, there is no greater example than Jesus Christ. He is the ultimate display for forgiveness. Here He was, a completely pure, innocent man who was doing so much good in this world - healing the sick, the lame, the blind, raising people from the dead, teaching about His love. He had done nothing to hurt us. Yet how much we hurt Him! 

We beat Him to beyond human recognition. We pulled out His hair. We spit on Him. We drove thorns into His head. We nailed Him to a cross, and we left Him to die. Like a criminal. Like the lowest of lows. Isaiah 53:7 says, "He was oppressed, and He was afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so He opened not His mouth." He did not speak out against us. He didn't try to argue His case before a judge. He willingly let Himself die for something He knew He hadn't done.

You might be saying, "Well, I wasn't there. I didn't nail Him to the cross. I wouldn't have done that." But haven't you done that already? Isn't ever sin you commit another thorn in His head? Another nail in His hand? Another lash on His back? Every single time we act out in defiance against our Creator, we are adding to His suffering. It's like we are looking Him in the face and saying, "I know you died for me, but I don't care." Ouch. 

Yet even after all of the pain we inflicted upon Him, listen to what He says. Luke 23:34a - "And Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." We did this to Him on purpose with malicious intent, and yet He willingly chose to forgive us. He saw the bigger picture. 

If Jesus Christ can forgive us each and every day for the wrongs we do against Him, how much more should we forgive each other for the wrongs done against us? In fact, compared to what Jesus went through, it should be easy for us to forgive. How often we hold grudges, though, and refuse to let go of our hurt, our anger, and our sense of injustice. 

When we refuse to forgive, it is like having a huge burden on our backs. We carry it around and let it weigh us down. We get tired and the hurt grows, but we refuse to let go of that silly burden. Once we make the choice of forgiveness, though, the burden is gone, and we are free again. 

If there is anything today that you are holding inside against someone, I encourage you to go to them and forgive them, face-to-face. It is one thing to forgive someone in front of God, but it is another thing to go to them and let them know they have been forgiven. Sometimes, often times, it is not easy. They may not know that they have caused you pain. It may be embarrassing or seem foolish, but it is necessary. 

I leave you with these lyrics from Tenth Avenue North's song Losing:
"We think pain is owed apologies, and then it'll stop. 

But truth be told, it doesn't matter if they're sorry or not.

Freedom comes when we surrender to the sound,

Of mercy and Your grace, Father, send Your angels down."

"Father, give me grace to forgive them, 'cause I feel like the one losing."