Beauty. This is a concept that I have wrestled with over the years. I'm sure just about every girl out there can relate. At one time or another, we have all asked the question, What does it mean to be beautiful? Take one look at our culture and you will find that we have been looking for beauty in all the wrong places. Girls, especially, have become so obsessed with beauty that many have died in pursuit of it. Sweet, precious girls who starve themselves to death just because they want to be beautiful. Daughters and sisters and best friends who constantly compare themselves to others, only to find that there is always someone more "beautiful," at least in their eyes. This breaks my heart.
I, too, have struggled with all of the above. I compare myself to others, and I constantly find myself to be inadequate. I have struggled with insecurity. I have found myself obsessed with how I look on the outside. After all, like every other girl out there, I desire to be beautiful. To have others find me beautiful. But I have been looking in the wrong place for beauty. True beauty is not found on the outside.
Proverbs 31:10-31 tells the story of a wife of noble character. Verse 10 says, "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." I know that this passage talks about a wife, but girls, we can get so much from this. Verse 10 sets the tone for the rest of the chapter. This woman, this wife, is precious. She is worth far more than rubies. What is is about her that makes her so valuable? It's her character. Her confidence. Her innocence and morality. Her gentleness and patience. Her love and respect. Her character.
This woman is strong. She runs her household well and takes care of her family. She buys and runs a vineyard. She is successful at what she does. Verse 20 says that she takes care of those who are poor and helps those who are in need. She has a heart for those who are less fortunate than herself. She doesn't set herself on a pedestal. She humbles herself and doesn't consider hard work beneath her. I love verse 25, "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." She doesn't worry about the future. Her mind is fixed on the present and how she can make a difference right then. She has absolute confidence.
The kicker comes in the second to last verse, verse 30:
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
The beauty that is referred to here is outward beauty - the beauty that man sees on the outside. This beauty is fleeting. It is here for a day and then goes away. It does not last. What really matters here is the fear of the Lord. A woman who loves God passionately is incredibly beautiful. It has absolutely nothing to do with what she looks like. It doesn't matter if she is skinny or fat. It doesn't matter if she is tall or thin. It doesn't matter if her skin is covered with blemishes or perfectly flawless. It has EVERYTHING to do with her heart - with what is going on inside.
Beauty is also talked about in the New Testament. 1 Peter 3:3-4 says, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." Unfading beauty. Isn't that what we are all looking for? Isn't that what women want - both young and old? We want to be beautiful and stay beautiful. So how do we get this beauty that will last forever? By having a quiet and gentle spirit. By fearing the Lord and delighting in His Word. These things are of great worth in God's eyes. Shouldn't that be what matters to us? Being beauty in God's eyes?
Let me be clear about this. Every single one of you who reads this is beautiful. I don't even need to see you to know that you are. Some won't believe me, but that doesn't change the fact that it is true. I know without a doubt that you are beautiful because God does not make mistakes. Let me repeat that: God does NOT make mistakes! You are not a mistake! Everything about you was planned. The color of your hair, the size of your nose, the tone of your voice, the shape of your eyes, ALL of this was by God's design. So please don't ever call yourself ugly. That is making a mockery of what God has created. He called you GOOD. He called you BEAUTIFUL. You are not and never will be ugly. God doesn't want you to try and change yourself because He loves you just the way you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
I will say that there is nothing more beautiful than a confident woman who takes pleasure in the Lord. Someone who does not focus on what others think of her. A girl who takes pride in how God made her and doesn't try to change herself. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating against things like makeup, doing your hair and trying to make yourself look nice. Those things are all good in moderation. I'm saying that we shouldn't hide ourselves behind those things. We shouldn't plaster our faces with makeup in an effort to look beautiful. My personal opinion is that every girl looks her most beautiful when she is natural, without makeup. And honestly, just about every guy I have talked to feels the exact same way.
So what am I getting at here? Girls, I want you to be happy with how you look. I will be the first to say that there are plenty of things about my physical appearance that I wish I could change. But this is the wrong attitude to have. You are the way you are because God made you that way. You are unique. If you were to change anything about yourself outwardly, you would not be you anymore. True, genuine beauty comes from the inside. From character and modesty. From gentleness and kindness. From a ceaseless love for God.
There are so many girls out there today who are hurting. Who have been torn down by someone else and called ugly. This is horrible, and this needs to stop. What gives us the right to call someone ugly? We have NO right to judge what God has deemed beautiful. So please, please, please if you EVER see this happen, do something about it! We cannot let any more of our daughters starve themselves in an effort to be beautiful. We cannot let any more of our sisters crumble under the pressure of this culture to be beautiful. We are destroying spirits and damaging lives with this pursuit of beauty. When really, we can never obtain it physically. The only way to be beautiful is on the inside. Only then can we ever be satisfied and feel good about ourselves.
